Healing must be received.
I enjoyed my first Balinese massage today. For a mere $15, a young Balinese woman worked on me for an hour. I wasn’t looking for deep work, I wanted an overall relaxing and healing experience. Not only did I receive a breathtakingly precise massage, but I walked away with a good lesson.
The protocol in Bali is very different than it is in the states. You walk in to a room, strip down to nothing and lay on a table totally exposed. First you lay on your stomach, and then you lay on your back. There is nothing between you and the healer. There is no “modesty sheet” creating an illusion of separation. You may even have another person walk in the room while you’re receiving a massage. At one point, the healer told me I had a beautiful butt. Needless to say, nakedness is NOT a big deal in Bali. (An Aside: Bali is a Muslim country so there are places in Bali where people must be totally covered. Despite this people still bathe naked outside and old women can be seen walking around without shirts. Things are changing as the West moves in to Bali. Nevertheless, I feel comfortible saying that the average Balinese is less insecure about their naked body than the average U.S. citizen).
At first, I noticed a slight hesitation in my physical body to being seen naked. I heard the voice loud and clear, “she’ll be able to see my…everything.” I had a choice. I could either embrace the moment and relax, or fall prey to the insecurities and modesty of my Western up-bringing.
Today, the decision was easy. I surrendered in to the healing. I meditated on the bowl of flowers below me on the floor, body scanned, and relaxed any tension in my body. I quickly realized that the areas of my body tensing around modesty, were also the “problem areas” that had me getting a massage in the first place.
Was it possible, that I was creating all of my discomfort? Was it possible that I could relieve my pain simply by accepting that which is, and going with the flow?
Asana Practice: Synchronicity is plentiful in Bali. Daily events line up perfectly to allow lessons to penetrate deeply. Appropriately, my day started out with healing touch during my ashtanga mysore class.
Again, I was confronted by the “modesty” of western culture when my teacher gave me a series of amazing hands-on adjustments that I have never received in 10 years of doing yoga in the States.
The teacher, Prem, has amazing hands. His assists are strong, yet they encourage surrender. He helps inform both the physical and energetic actions that are present in a pose by encouraging the body to relax and go deeper.
The question then is why have I never received these assists before. The answer, is that they involve touching areas of the body that many consider to be off-limits. (e.g. the butt….gasp).
I want to emphasize that the assists were completely appropriate. Not only did they offer assistance through informed manipulation of my physical form, but I received healing by being able to trust another individual to help me.
Throughout the day today, I’ve been able to reflect on these experiences and how they relate to my experiences of nakedness in the United States.
I saw a doctor before I left the U.S. about a pain in my back. He never looked at my naked body. He had me wear a large sheet to examine me and went so far as to look away from me when he touched my body. As an attorney I understand why doctors do this. Its the same reason that yoga teachers in the U.S. are instructed to avoid certain areas of the body when they give adjustments. The U.S. is a litigious country, and fear runs rampant. An uncomfortible student or patient might sue for sexual harassment.
But” there’s the rub,” or the lack of a rub…in order to protect people from their uncomfortibility, we miss out on healing that may make us less uncomfortible.
So ultimately, what did these experiences teach me? They taught me that it is up to each and every one of us to break through our own self consciousness and fear. It is up to me and you to feel safe and comfortible in our skin so that we can receive healing touch from another. We must change the paradigm, we must encourage people to see their bodies as an integrated whole, not as a series of public and private parts. We should help encourage people to appreciate their beauty and to not create fears related to antiquated social etiquette.
Lesson Learned: Ultimately, the way we feel is a choice. This concept is both simple and profound. With practice and discipline, we all have the power to choose what it feels like to be alive. I want to choose to feel safe and expansive in my skin. Each and every one of us is beautiful. There is no reason to be afraid of our own nakedness. By all means know your limitations and make sure you feel safe, but make sure you are not endorsing fear or living through a fear that was imposed upon you.
Touch is only healing if you can receive it. Notice where you retract in fear or insecurity rather than surrender in to a loving touch. Change the paradigm by breathing and relaxing tension. Receive the healing of a loving hand.
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