March 26: Bali Spirit Festival, Fun and Games in the Jungle

Yogis and yogini from all over the world converge on Ubud, Bali for four days of music, yoga and dance.  The Bali Spirit Festival is on its final day of celebration.

Asana Practice: I attended a yoga class by taught by Danny Paradise yesterday.  Danny is trained in the ashtanga tradition, but he teaches an experimental and playful class. He was one of the first westerners to be trained in ashtanga yoga and is responsible for introducing such famous people as Sting and Madonna to yoga.

In addition to ashtanga, Danny has also studied and practiced with numerous teachers of other Yoga forms as well as various martial arts including Karate, Kung Fu and Tai Chi. His influences in Spirituality have come from Krishnamurti, teachings of Buddha, Jesus, Shiva, Yoga, as well as numerous Shamanic traditions of Native North and South Americans, from indigenous cultures of the Pacific, Tibet, Africa and South East Asia. Some of these traditions also include Mayan, Egyptian, Hawaiian…

Danny gave a quick lecture on the health benefits of yoga, encouraging people to practice in order to feel good late in to life and to avoid the suffering most people experience in the years before death.  Additionally, Danny spoke about the “little death” experience of ayahuasca, a psychedelic shamanic medicines, encouraging people to come to peace with the transitional experience of death in this lifetime.

A highlight of the festival for many people is the music.  Last night was no exception. My new friend Marcus Thomson (aka “Deva”) rocked the stage along with such acts as a Canadian band “From Deli to Dublin.”

Today the festival is free to the public and most of the classes are geared for kids.  I’m looking forward to a final night of great world music.

March 24: Mother of Twins

Honor the asymmetries of the body. Work towards balance, but love yourself in every moment, just the way you are.

The more you practice yoga the more sensitive you become to the subtle asymmetries of your body.  Yoga asks us to draw towards the center and to look for balance, but this is a constant practice rather than a goal that must be reached.

I have a laundry list of imbalances in my own body: the arch of my right foot likes to pronate, I broke my left arm making it weaker than my right, my left shoulder is double jointed, and my left IT band is tighter than my right.

When I was first practicing yoga, I was very frustrated to realize that my left and right sides were not the same.  I felt like I would never gain control of my right foot and couldn’t help but feel defeated by my asymmetries.  My perspective has changed.

Instead of finding frustration in my asymmetries I try to love each side of my body and allow the sides of my body to learn from and heal each other.

I consider the left and right side of my body to be my children, my twins.  Just like individual siblings, the different sides of my body have had different experiences and enjoy different things.  I do my best to love and honor each side of my body completely, and to allow the difference in my twins to inform and influence each other.

Asana Practice: My imbalances are most apparent in the ashtanga yoga standing poses.  I have a hard time grounding my right foot and my left hip is far more stubborn than my right.  Add to this the pain I’ve been working with in the left side of my upper back and nearly every pose feels different from one side to the other.

The brilliance of yoga, is that my asymmetries actually guide me to be more knowledgeable about my practice and to take the healing deeper.

In ashtanga yoga, the standing poses are done in the same order every day.  First you do the right side and then you do the left.  Day after day, you feel in to the subtle differences between the opposing sides.  For some poses I am better on my left side and for others my right side feels more natural. 

I allow both my difficult and graceful sides to inform each other. My natural side teaches my difficult side about grace.  In exchange, through the process of mimicry and discovery, my difficult side can bring awareness and understanding to my asana practice allowing my natural side to be imbued with not only grace and ease, but also consciousness.

Over the last few weeks I have settled in to poses that were impossible for me to do before.  Specifically revolved triangle pose (Parvrtta Trikonasana), and revolved side angle pose (Parivrtta Parsvakonasana), which are now accessible to me.

I am watching my body surrender in to new shapes and enjoying the process my twin sides are taking.  Just like a proud and caring mother, I’m carefully watching, perceiving both the successes and the hesitation of different parts of my body.

http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/876

Through exploration and awareness, the twin sides of my body learn and teach each other. Through support and love the sides of my body influence the entirety of my body to go deeper in to healing.

Lesson Learned: Asymmetries in the body are a valuable learning tool.  Use the easy side to teach the body what a pose should feel like.  Through the process of mimicry and exploration, the challenging side will ultimately teach you how to go deep in to the pose in an informed manner.

March 25: Caterpillar Envy

This morning I noticed a small pile of dirt walking.  Curious, I approached.  It turns out this small pile of dirt was actually a caterpillar building a cocoon, or perhaps emerging from one.

I was reminded of a visual dialogue I’ve been having with the environment around me since I arrived in Bali several weeks ago.

During my first week of mysore with Prem and Rada, I was greeted by a caterpillar.  Emerging from savasana, I rolled on to my side and sat up.  A caterpillar was resting on my mat in the same place my body had been laying.

Through the dreamy energy of savasana I didn’t question how the caterpillar managed to avoid being squished.  Instead, I felt deeply, the shamanic message of the visit…  Transformation is coming.

Over the next several weeks, in different environments, I saw single tiny caterpillars dangling from trees.  They seemed unphased by the fact that they were  precariously hanging from the end of a long piece of silk.  Focused on the project of building their cocoon, these small little creatures were hard at work and completely engaged with the moment.

Butterflies dance all over Bali and grace exquisite moments with a touch of magic.  The same can be said of the people of Bali.  No moment is left without a touch of grace.  Even as you drive down a wild street on your motorbike, a woman can be seen placing an offering box full of flowers and rice in the center of a busy intersection to protect the drivers.

I’ve felt my outer shell softening during my stay in Bali.  But the softening has only been possible because I’ve wrestled with uncomfortability and gained strength. Bali is a jungle, chaotic and wild.  It is a kingdom of ants and the people must fight to maintain control over their physical space.  Energetically, there are tons of distractions and spiritual “obligations” and it can be difficult at times to stay on task. It requires extreme perseverance to accomplish things here and you learn fortuitiveness and strength of will around things you really care about.

The metaphor of the caterpillar, guarded with spikes, but oh so soft and vulnerable, emerging as a Goddess creature, winged and free, speaks to me.  I’ve wrestled with uncomfortable emotions here.  I’ve had to learn to stick to my path despite others wanting me to follow theirs.  I’ve wrestled with the environment, demanding the ants and other insects provide, at least, a small sanctuary to rest my head.  And through this, I have gotten stronger.  I feel like soon, perhaps as I write, I will be emerging as a Self, capable of flight, no longer needing spikes to feel safe.  Instead, I will be able to rest in the emanation of beauty to protect me.  I will be able to fly free and dance.

Ashtanga Practice: Staying intensely present in the moment is the key to yoga.  Contained on your mat, wrestling and breathing with a posture, focused on the mission at hand, it is possible to emerge transformed.

My morning mysore practice, here in Bali, has helped maintain structure while I’m undergoing great change. Ashtanga doesn’t have the bells and whistles of other forms of yoga, but it allows you to churn through chaotic spaces with control.  The gift of flight at the end of practice allows you to see the ground you covered, but the journey itself is all about the moment.

Lesson Learned: Allow the challenges of your life, both on and off the mat to strengthen you so that you may remove your protective barriers from the world.  Emerge in flight, full of beauty, protected by the awe of those around you.

I feel like I’m resting in my cocoon, waiting to emerge a fully empowered butterfly.

March 20: A day of Devotion

Today is a day of rest from yoga.  I will be spending the day in devotion.

March 19: Super Moon

Honor the great rhythms of the universe.

Tonight the full moon will appear larger than it has in 20 years. The moon’s orbit places it closer to the Earth, and it will appear 14% larger, than usual. Take a moment to appreciate this beautiful moment and allow it to fill you with wonder.

Asana Practice: Traditional ashtanga practice includes one day off a week and no asana practice on the full and new moon.  Today, Saturday is my day off for the week.  Tomorrow is the full moon rest day.

My body is grateful for the time off. I had a massage yesterday and I spent about an hour relaxing in a pool today.  I find water very healing, especially during the full moon.  I start my moon cycle on the full moon and I feel very watery during this time of the month.  My hormones can cause my emotions to be unstable.  It is imperative that I honor mother moon during this time and fully relax and surrender.  If I can find the beat of my heart and the sway of the tide in my body, then I can find peace.

Blessings on this beautiful day of rest.

March 17: Sacred Circularity

Closing your eyes and connecting with your sacred channel allows kundalini to flow.

After my mysore class this morning, I rushed uptown on my motorbike.  I started a hooping workshop today, just outside of Ubud Bali called Sacred Circularity.

The workshop is more than a technical hooping workshop and instead specifically focuses on the transformative qualities of hooping and how to use hooping as a spiritual path.

It is exciting to see that so many different disciplines are channeling the fundamental principals of yoga. Specifically, hooping allows people to connect to their energy body and to learn how to awaken their kundalini energy.

I’m only joining a small portion of the retreat to take classes from Anah (aka. Hoopalicious).

Anah’s workshop focuses on staying in the moment and finding your personal flow.  She started today’s class with her student’s blindfolded. I’ve never hooped blindfolded and the experience was beautiful. This simple act transformed hooping in to an energetic experience connecting me instantly with the now.

Asana Practice: Anah is also a yoga teacher. Her yogic knowledge allows her to instruct people’s body movements with grace, as well as, connect people with their internal world.

If you’ve never hoop danced before, be careful making assumptions. For years I assumed hooping was merely a playful activity and I had a hard time taking it seriously.  In the last few months, I picked up a hoop without judgment and began to see its transformative qualities. Similar to yoga, hooping helps you connect with your core.  As you advance in the practice, you connect deeper and deeper with your central channel and the physical act can be transformed in to a spiritual practice.

Lesson Learned: Physical practices that connect you to your central axis can help awaken kundalini energy.

March 16: Filling in the Gaps

Avoiding difficult poses may weaken an already vulnerable area of the body.

My neck is weak from a spinal fracture ten years ago.  Since then, I have avoided many postures that put pressure on my neck and my neck has become increasingly weak.  In the last year I experienced a backlash from my injury and I’ve begun to reconsider my choice to avoid difficult postures.

Asana Practice: Since my injury, I have avoided fish pose and shoulder stand because my neck felt vulnerable in these poses and I was worried that I was collapsing my neck and putting to much pressure on my neck joints.

See http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/786 for instruction on fish pose.

Doing an ashtanga mysore practice daily has forced me to approach the same postures, in the same order, on a daily basis.  I’ve begun to see and ultimately question habitual thoughts about my practice.

The first week of mysore I stuck to my habitual patterns. I avoided fish pose and only stayed in shoulder stand for a few breaths.  Over time, I realized that it was fear rather than sensation that was keeping me away from these poses.  I began to explore.

Fish pose in particular has been very difficult for me since my accident ten years ago.  My neck felt vulnerable in the pose and I never gained anything from doing it.   Upon greater reflection, however, I realized that it was the way I was doing the pose, not the pose itself that I needed to erase from my practice. When you feel yourself disengaged and not activated, your alignment is probably off. Once I acknowledged this fact, I was able to explore new ways of approaching fish pose.

Over the last few weeks I have begun to integrate fish pose in to my mysore practice.  Each day I stay in the pose a little longer and each day I learn how to strengthen my vulnerabilities.  Specifically, I have learned how to press in to my head and how to keep my spine long.  Additionally, I have learned to ask for assistance to get in to the pose deeper so that I could actually work the pose more.

Today was a breakthrough.  I felt strength in an area of my neck that has been largely lifeless for the last several years.  I began to see that I can strengthen and protect my neck by engaging this vulnerable area.

I am extremely grateful to be in the company of competent teachers who know when and how to push me and who know the mechanics of the body intimately.  I often hear them telling veteran students to do modifications in order to instruct their movement and prevent injury.

There is a time to push and there is a time to back away.  Rarely is their a time to hide.

The presence of my teachers helps me have the confidence to try things I am afraid of.  I am beginning to strengthen an imbalance that I thought would be with me for the rest of my life.

If there is a pose you avoid because of a weakness or injury, consider doing a modification rather than avoiding the pose entirely. Find a knowledgeable teacher to help assist you in devising a plan that will help you strengthen an imbalance.

Lesson Learned: If you avoid a pose due to fear or weakness, consider an alternative.  Find a modification that helps inform the biomechanics of a difficult asana.  Work with a mentor that can help keep you safe while also encouraging you to grow.

March 14: Breathing through Pain, the Aftershocks of a Natural Disaster

There is a heavy energy in Indonesia right now. Japan is right around the corner, and we had a small earthquake on the island a few days ago. Asana Practice: I found myself really sad during practice today.  I noticed my breath slipping away from me and my focus waning. It’s vital that we connect to our inner fire right now and remain passionately ONE with spirit. Mother Gaia is going through a lot right now. In order to stay away from the fear and connect to the light, breathe deeply. My chest felt heavy as I practiced and I noticed my tendency to make my breath shallow.  I could see my body hiding from the pain, trying to reduce my life force so that I wouldn’t have to feel the sadness with as much vibrancy. Every breath was a choice, I could allow the pain to weaken me and collapse, or I could breathe deeper.  I choose the latter, but it wasn’t easy.  Again and again I was presented with a decision. I had to call in the attention of warrior to hold my breath strong and my body soft during every exhale and every inhale.  I had to honor the pain by remaining present, but I had to honor myself and spirit by willing my breath deeper and deeper. Courage is needed during times like these.  It doesn’t matter whether the sadness in your heart is a result of an unknown factor or the result of huge natural disasters, the only way to heal is to look pain directly in the face and breathe. Breathing deeply connects our physical body to our life force. When we are full of life force, we can endure anything.  Don’t allow fear or the sensation of pain to break your spirit.  Remain focuses, approach the moment with warrior energy.  Keep your body soft, your heart lifted, and find your life force…breathe. Lesson Learned: Build your inner fire and connect with life force by deepening your breath. Times are trying right now, if you find sadness in your heart fill your body with the courage of a warrior and breathe.  Make the choice to breathe deeply in each and every moment, remaining present with pain, in order to heal all wounds and quell all fear.

March 13: The Power of Sangha, Finding Community in Trying Times

“The world is shaking, what are you waiting for….wake up,” Prem said starting out our class.

Instead of starting the class with the traditional invocation and moving directly in to asana practice, my teacher Prem asked us to start class in meditation.  After a few moments he called to us from his heart, “wake up.”

Prem was in Sri Lanka during the last tsunami and the events in Japan hit very close to home for him. He put a ton of time and energy in to building the country back up after it was ripped apart. He spoke passionately about the need for us to wake up now.  Yoga isn’t about putting our bodies in unusual shapes, its about finding fierce focus and presence in the moment.  Its about waking up (or enlightenment).

The world is undergoing huge change, natural disasters are striking at increasing rates and for the first time in history, we KNOW what is going on all around the world instantaneously. Sages from many different traditions and from many different times speak about 2012 and the consciousness shift.  Prem emphasized that 2012, is really about NOW. The changes are already happening, its time to wake up now.  After all, what are we waiting for. The world is demanding us to pay attention and to no longer wait for the “future” to do something.  We only have now. We owe it to ourselves and everyone else around us to be completely present and full of love with each other in every moment.

The clarity of message in Prem’s words had many of us in tears and he called for us all to join in the center of the room in a hug.  With tears in his eyes, he emphasized how important community is. Yoga is a personal practice, but we come together in order to support each other on the path. Ultimately no one but yourself can surrender to the moment, no one but you can overcome fear to be fiercely present.  Nonetheless, having someone working hard next to you and having some one to share your trials and tribulations with can make the journey more rewarding and facilitate growth on the path.

The community here in Bali is beautiful.  Nearly all actions taken during the day are intended to purify and enlighten.  Raw food, meditation, yoga, healing arts, tantra, and speaking circles, are among the topics being shared on a regular basis. What a blessing!

I say this to inspire you.  In times like this its important to pull your community (your family) closer to your heart.  Don’t waste time, share your deepest truth with those that are around you.  Look each other in the eye, smile.  If insecurity or fear are keeping you away from sharing, take immediately action to remove all obstacles. Show people the light in your heart and embody the god and goddesses in all of you.  Don’t be afraid that the world cannot handle your light. The world cannot survive without it.

Lesson Learned: It’s time to support each other in the embodiment of love and light.  Bring your community close to your heart and remove any obstacles that prevent you from showing up for them completely.

The world is shaking, wake up.

 

 

March 9: Savasana

As I took savasana today, I briefly reflected on the final savasana I will take and the need for utter surrender when leaving my body.  I decided to take the contemplation one step deeper and to consider what level of surrender would be necessary to cope with a conscious cremation.  The visualization of being in a final savasana surrounded by flames led me to an unimaginably deep place of surrender.  Give it a try.

March 8: Peace Fingers and a Thumb

Whenever you hold your big toe with your first two fingers, or “peace fingers,” be sure to place your thumb on the tip of your big toe.

It has been my experience that teachers leave out this part of the instruction.  It has taken me two weeks to fully integrate this detail in to my practice.  Try it, do you notice a difference in the way energy flows through the posture? I did.

Blessings.

 

March 7: Devotion

I’m living in a place where daily rituals and prayers take precedent over all other activities.

I’m learning from the Balinese people what true devotion looks like.  Today I watched as a young girl blessed the statues outside of her home with the care and diligence of a surgeon.  No one pays her to give these prayers and as far as she was concerned, no one was watching.  Her dedication was based on her own strength of will and heart, supported by her entire family, community and country.

I also had the joy of watching an entire community dress up in their ceremonial attire and carry fruit and treats to the temple in a temple ceremony.  I yearn for my own community back home to have the opportunity to come together in gratitude and celebration on a regular basis.

Asana Practice: Stepping on a mat is an honor.  I feel grateful to have the luxury to spend two hours every morning practicing yoga.  Watching the people of Bali work so hard for so little, while imbuing everything they do with art and spirit, has changed my perspective on how I want to be in the world.

It feels easy to be devotional in Bali, but I want to be sure to carry this shift in mentality home with me.

I plan on dedicating the next several weeks to contemplation on how to bring more devotion and spirit in to my community at home.  I welcome all thoughts, feelings, and ideas on the subject.

 

March 6: Keep the Flow, Keep the Focus

In ashtanga practice it is important to keep the flow moving.  If you stop for too long between poses the mind will wander.

Asana Practice: I have slowed my ashtanga practice way down in order to focus on my breathing and find relaxation.  Slowing down, does not mean stopping.

The teachers I am working with teach a very traditional ashtanga philosophy.  They want you to move through the sequences without stopping.  If you fatigue or need a break it suggests that you should move on to the finishing postures and stop.

I took this suggestion to keep moving to heart and noticed my tendency to rest in tadasana, not because I’m physically tired, but rather because my brain likes the time to wander.  Prem was right, if you don’t keep in the flow, your focus wanes and the monkey mind creeps in.

I spent the remainder of the mysore session focused on my breath, guaranteeing that I didn’t take any extra breaths or breaks but rather continued with the flow.  I found that this level of focus and flow increased my energy and got me deeper in to the practice.

Lesson Learned: Unless you are intentionally adding breaks to your practice based on the instruction of a teacher, remain true to the traditional breath sequences when practicing ashtanga yoga.

March 5: Sitting in Silence

Today I will be observing a day of silence along with the entire island of Bali.

Please join in the celebration of the Balinese New Year by taking time to sit in silence.

Blessings

March 4: Calling in the Demons

Today is the day before Nyepi, the Balinese New Year.

“Exactly one day before Nyepi, all villages in Bali hold a large exorcism ceremony at the main village cross road, the meeting place of demons. They usually make Ogoh-ogoh (the fantastic monsters or evil spirits or the Butha Kala made of bamboo) for carnival purposes. The Ogoh-ogoh monsters symbolize the evil spirits surrounding our environment which have to be got rid of from our lives . The carnivals themselves are held all over Bali following sunset. Bleganjur, a Balinese gamelan music accompanies the procession. Some are giants taken from classical Balinese lore. All have fangs, bulging eyes and scary hair and are illuminated by torches. In order to make a harmonic relation between human being and God, human and human, and human and their environments, Tawur Kesanga is performed in every level of society, from the people’s house. In the evening, the Hindus celebrating Ngerupuk, start making noises and light burning torches and set fire to the Ogoh-ogoh in order to get the Bhuta Kala, evil spirits, out of our lives.” For more information see http://www.indo.com/culture/nyepi.html.

Asana Practice: My ashtanga studio is closed in celebration of the New Moon.  I am taking a day of rest to full engage with the holiday here in Bali.

Tomorrow I will be starting my day with a sunrise asana practice and sitting in silence for the remainder of the day.  I will be doing a juice fast and honoring the experience of joining an entire island in silence for a 24 hour period.

I look forward to sharing the experience on Sunday.

Blessings.

March 3: Healing Touch

Healing must be received.

I enjoyed my first Balinese massage today.  For a mere $15, a young Balinese woman worked on me for an hour. I wasn’t looking for deep work, I wanted an overall relaxing and healing experience.  Not only did I receive a breathtakingly precise massage, but I walked away with a good lesson.

The protocol in Bali is very different than it is in the states.  You walk in to a room, strip down to nothing and lay on a table totally exposed. First you lay on your stomach, and then you lay on your back.  There is nothing between you and the healer.  There is no “modesty sheet” creating an illusion of separation. You may even have another person walk in the room while you’re receiving a massage. At one point, the healer told me I had a beautiful butt.  Needless to say, nakedness is NOT a big deal in Bali. (An Aside: Bali is a Muslim country so there are places in Bali where people must be totally covered.  Despite this people still bathe naked outside and old women can be seen walking around without shirts.  Things are changing as the West moves in to Bali.  Nevertheless, I feel comfortible saying that the average Balinese is less insecure about their naked body than the average U.S. citizen).

At first, I noticed a slight hesitation in my physical body to being seen naked. I heard the voice loud and clear, “she’ll be able to see my…everything.”  I had a choice.  I could either embrace the moment and relax, or fall prey to the insecurities and modesty of my Western up-bringing.

Today, the decision was easy.  I surrendered in to the healing. I meditated on the bowl of flowers below me on the floor, body scanned, and relaxed any tension in my body.   I quickly realized that the areas of my body tensing around modesty, were also the “problem areas” that had me getting a massage in the first place.

Was it possible, that I was creating all of my discomfort?  Was it possible that I could relieve my pain simply by accepting that which is, and going with the flow?

Asana Practice: Synchronicity is plentiful in Bali. Daily events line up perfectly to allow  lessons to penetrate deeply.  Appropriately, my day started out with healing touch during my ashtanga mysore class.

Again, I was confronted by the “modesty” of western culture when my teacher gave me a series of amazing hands-on adjustments that I have never received in 10 years of doing yoga in the States.

The teacher, Prem, has amazing hands.  His assists are strong, yet they encourage surrender.  He helps inform both the physical and energetic actions that are present in a pose by encouraging the body to relax and go deeper.

The question then is why have I never received these assists before.  The answer, is that they involve touching areas of the body that many consider to be off-limits. (e.g. the butt….gasp).

I want to emphasize that the assists were completely appropriate.  Not only did they offer assistance through informed manipulation of my physical form, but I received healing by being able to trust another individual to help me.

Throughout the day today, I’ve been able to reflect on these experiences and how they relate to my experiences of nakedness in the United States.

I saw a doctor before I left the U.S. about a pain in my back.  He never looked at my naked body.  He had me wear a large sheet to examine me and went so far as to look away from me when he touched my body.  As an attorney I understand why doctors do this.  Its the same reason that yoga teachers in the U.S. are instructed to avoid certain areas of the body when they give adjustments.  The U.S. is a litigious country, and fear runs rampant.  An uncomfortible student or patient might sue for sexual harassment.

But” there’s the rub,” or the lack of a rub…in order to protect people from their uncomfortibility, we miss out on healing that may make us less uncomfortible.

So ultimately, what did these experiences teach me?  They taught me that it is up to each and every one of us to break through our own self consciousness and fear.  It is up to me and you to feel safe and comfortible in our skin so that we can receive healing touch from another.  We must change the paradigm, we must encourage people to see their bodies as an integrated whole, not as a series of public and private parts.  We should help encourage people to appreciate their beauty and to not create fears related to antiquated social etiquette.

Lesson Learned: Ultimately, the way we feel is a choice. This concept is both simple and profound.  With practice and discipline, we all have the power to choose what it feels like to be alive. I want to choose to feel safe and expansive in my skin.  Each and every one of us is beautiful.  There is no reason to be afraid of our own nakedness.  By all means know your limitations and make sure you feel safe, but make sure you are not endorsing fear or living through a fear that was imposed upon you.

Touch is only healing if you can receive it.  Notice where you retract in fear or insecurity rather than surrender in to a loving touch.  Change the paradigm by breathing and relaxing tension.  Receive the healing of a loving hand.

March 2: Don’t over-activate your hands

Its all about finding balance.

Asana Practice: In downward dog it is important to activate the hands, only don’t over-stretch them.  The fingers should be separated but there shouldn’t be strain in the hands.

A few things to ask yourself about your hands in downward dog:

1. Are your left and right equal distant from the front of your mat?

2. Are your hands turned slightly out equally?

3. Are you pressing through the ball of the pointer finger?

4. Are your fingers spread?

5. Are you able to ground through the pads of your fingers?

Lesson Learned: In life as in yoga find balance.  The same principles apply to the macro and the micro.  When focusing on your hands in downward dog keep the fingers spread, but don’t overextend them.  You don’t want to create strain, only activation.

March 1: Standing in Strength

True strength requires receptivity and suppleness.

The outer world is merely a reflection of our inner world. When the world reflects back our unrefined shadows, we must stand with the strength of a warrior.

There is a place in our center where balance is derived.  At this core we have the strength to endure, to ground, and to root.  The tricky part is to remain infinitely supple while engaging this strength.  It is only when we continue to receive and respond to the world around us, while also maintaining a strong connection to our core essence, that we have the ability to weather any storm.

I am a very sensitive person.  I have to really watch my energy around negativity and judgment. It is an important lesson for me in this lifetime to learn to take the nugget of wisdom in every situation, but to never wound myself in the process.

Upon greater reflection, I see myself as someone with an insatiable thirst for personal growth.  I am a seeker, awaiting the next opportunity to be a better person and to offer more positive and less negative energy to the world.  Often this has me pining for lessons.  While this enthusiasm is good, it often has me handing away my power to anyone willing to “teach me a lesson.”

I’m grateful that the world has sent me sages and gurus, trustworthy individuals that have shown me the way through love and understanding.  But the truth is, I have learned as much, if not more, from those individuals that show up in the wrathful form to teach me to stand tall in the face of challenge.

Yoga is one of many physical practices that teach us how to find and hold our center in the face of varying levels of challenge and intensity.  The asana practice, much like the world around us, changes form, but the essence of our focus must remain the same.  Connect to your core, locate and honor the breath, and release any harmful tension.

Asana Practice: I am continuing to work with the standing poses in my ashtanga mysore class.  Specifically, I learned a new way to enter and work with revolved triangle that I look forward to sharing when I start uploading videos.

Revolved triangle is a very difficult pose for me.  In the past I’ve had trouble finding my breath in the pose, and the overall experience was that my body was a sling shot pulled to full capacity.

The teachers I am working with emphasize the grounding qualities of the legs in revolved triangle.  By grounding first, I was able to experience a deep twist without feeling rigid and wobbly.  The pose naturally limits the capacity of the lungs.  However, from a place of groundedness, I could use my breath to massage my spine longer and my twist deeper.  I found my warrior strength and perseverance.

In every moment, in every breath, we have a choice of whether to collapse in the face of challenge, or instead to access the deep strength within.

Lesson Learned: In yoga, as in life, if we connect to our core while maintain a relationship with our breath (also known as prana or life force), we will have all the support we need to respond to the changing circumstances around us.

February 28: Sitting with Ignorance

Yoga is about having awareness of what is.  This includes having awareness of ignorance. I believe that it demonstrates intelligence when you admit when you do not know something, rather than pretend that you do.

The phrase, “I don’t know, but I’d love to learn,” has inspired many enriching conversations in my life.  I consider myself a student of the world, and the more open I make myself to learning, the more free lessons I receive.  Unfortunately, the vanity of the egos can get in the way of becoming more well-informed.

I wish people didn’t judge each other, but unfortunately its all to common for someone to make fun of another when they don’t know something. A preferred response is to see another person’s ignorance and curiosity as an opportunity for learning and sharing.

The first step in the learning process is acknowledging your ignorance.  The second, is having the confidence in Self  to realize your own intelligence and to feel safe requesting additional information. From this centered space, the outside world will likely respond with patience and love and teach you something you’ve always wanted to know.

Asana Practice: I’m getting to put this lesson to practice.  Today I started working with Anthony “Prem” Carlisi and Heather “Radha” Duplex at an ashtanga yoga studio in Ubud. Check out their website.  I met them last night at another cacao party (yes, cacao has taken over Bali). Radha requested that I show up with beginners mind and that we work on my Sun Salutations.

This morning I entered the studio with zero expectations.  Radha started from the beginning of the ashtanga yoga sequence and helped me shift all of my poses.  I LEARNED SO MUCH!

I’ve committed to a week at the studio and if all goes well I will practice with them for a month. I’m excited to share the downloads of these talented teachers as I approach my original yoga form, ashtanga, with fresh eyes.  Stay tuned.

Lesson Learned: If you approach every moment with fresh eyes you will receive a deeper teaching.  Beginners mind allows for a supple receptive mind.  Encourage your ego to relax in a space of “not knowing” rather than a place of “I know all.”

February 27: Turn that Frown Upside-down with Urdhva Dhanurasana

There is something about Bali that makes meditation feel superfluous to living.

This is likely because the heat and energetics of the place request you to stop and meditate frequently throughout the day.

Asana Practice: During my asana practice, I find that I want to rest in child’s pose or lay in savasana mid-practice.  I’m rarely inclined to do this at home in Boulder, and its rarely an option in a class setting. This shift, is teaching me how to engage more deeply with the energetics of yoga.

The energy and spaciousness I am learning to cultivate is largely due to the moments I take to feel the energy of the moment moving through me.

Today, for example, after I did Urdhva Dhanurasana (“wheel pose”), I noticed a natural smile moving through my face.  I watched, and to my surprise, my body fought against the gift of a smile.  My facial muscles began to tense, desperately gripping to an old pattern.  Without having an agenda, and without being in a hurry, I was able to follow the natural wave of energy after a wheel pose to its natural conclusion, a smile.  My normal routine is to quickly move in to my second wheel pose as soon as my body recovered from the first.  I had been missing the opportunity to surrender completely and thoroughly in to the energetics of a very powerful asana.

I did a second wheel pose and watched.  Again, I was greeted with a subtle lift in my face.  The gift of a smile was bestowed upon me.  Taking the time to truly surrender after the pose, and to have the awareness of the effect, began to heal a deep wound.  I began to release a deep resistance to happiness.

Lesson Learned: Give the energy of a pose space in order to feel the full effect.  Experience the unraveling of old habits and the clearing of channels by riding an entire wave of energy before moving on.

February 26: Making Space

There are moments when the most compassionate action is to walk away.

I postponed my practice yesterday in order to be of service to a friend.  I had no obligation to help, I simply wanted to aid in fulfilling responsibilities that would help prepare for our big party. See yesterday’s post to learn more about our Sacred Cacao Ceremony.

Not everyone handles stress well and the individual I was assisting was becoming tense and aggressive.  I watched as he picked fights with other people, and then became forlorn when they walked away or became upset. This individual was the boss.  He needed to be a role model.  He took out his inability to handle his own emotions on those around him.

I felt like I was watching a pattern unfold that is far too common in the business setting in America.  It made me sad to watch.  I felt bad for the workers who were lambasted for trivial things, victims of misplaced blame and negative energy.  I also felt great sadness for the discomfort created from ignorance. The “boss” couldn’t see the dynamic he was creating and vented his frustration about those around him, perpetuating a victim complex.

I was neutral third party.  I watched the events unfold and became the sounding board for the “boss’s” discontent.  I didn’t see any open spaces to relieve the suffering, or provide clarity.  There was no space.

Eventually the energy was turned my way.  I was disrespected and silenced for no particular reason.  Thankfully I was in my power.  I had watched the interplay of events and therefore was very aware that the dynamic had little, if anything, to do with me or my presence.  I finished up my responsibilities, then relinquished my role as assistant and moved on to my practice.

I chose to practice in the center of the home, knowing that regardless of where I practiced I would be regularly interrupted by the flow of musicians and artists coming over to our home to prepare. I allowed my practice to flow through me. I made my one and only goal to keep my energy as clear as possible so that I could create some space in the residue of the “boss’s” antics.

The experience proved to be astounding.  Visitors to the house were greeted with bliss and a smile.  I watched the feel of the house begin to shift.

When Balinese workers arrived with coconuts and supplies, they were intrigued.  Despite the surge of western practitioners of yoga coming to Bali, very few Balinese have ever heard (let alone seen) yoga.  I loved seeing their curiosity, and they often cheered or offered excitement.  Hopefully they will return home with enough curiosity to try it one day.

Meanwhile, the artists that arrived were able to enter an exploratory space where the energy was focused and light.  This seemed like a huge improvement from the static and conflict that was present before.

Asana Practice: Holding space for a practice when the surroundings are chaotic, strengths character and will.

By the time I reached savasana, I was able to hold my energy so richly, that I came to a very very deep meditative place.

This deep centered space provided a mirror for the boss who quickly realized that he had run me off by acting ignorantly.  This provided a stage for growth and clarity. By no means would I suggest that this boss will erase his negative patterns indefinitely, but a seed of growth was planted.

Lesson Learned: Sometimes it is necessary to remove yourself from a disrespectful environment in order to give conflict some breathing room.  When you are able to deepen your sense of self, you will provide a mirror to those that are off center and help facilitate growth.

February 25: Sacred Cacao Ceremony RECIPE

This evening our house is sponsoring a Sacred Cacao Ceremony and Community Gathering. If you are in Ubud, Bali, or simply interested, check out the website.

Imagine the scene: a lovely three story Balinese home looking out over the jungle, with a small pool.  The house will be decorated with art from local and international Visionary Artists and there will be an ambient music DJ as well as healing singing bowls present.  There is a Cacao Goddess Team (which I was asked to join, smile) who will be anointing the guests with warm cacao butter, and feeding the guests several raw food delights.

The feast will include several chocolate treats and other jungle yummies such as fruit, kombucha, and tonic.

The community of Ubud is a temporary home for many spiritual leaders and community leaders in areas such as raw food and visionary art.  There will be eight short inspirational talks on topics ranging from the Mayan Calendar and Yoga to Visionary Art and Raw Food.

There is talk of a cacao mandala, full of flower pedals, chocolate, and local fruit. I’m regularly astounded by the variety of fruit species available on the streets of Ubud.

If you would like to join the celebration, I am including a recipe for Raw Chocolate inspired by my new friend David Richenbauch.  You can find him on Facebook.

RECIPE FOR RAW CHOCOLATE:

1 Cup Cacao Beans or Nibs (ground to a powder)*.  Note: this is different than cacao powder because store-bought cacao powder has had the fat removed.  Don’t fret, the powder will still work in a pinch. (Find Cacao Beans here. Find Cacao Nibs here.

1 Cup Raw Cashews* Note: If you can’t find good organic cashews, try using sesame, pumpkin or sunflower seeds instead

1 Whole Nutmeg (ground to a powder, or a heaping teaspoon of Nutmeg)

1 Heaping teaspoon of Cinnamon

1 Vanilla Bean (ground to a powder in a coffee grinder/ mortar and pestal, or 1 thimble of Vanilla Extract) (Find whole Vanilla Beans here. Find ground Whole Vanilla Beans here.)

Sea Salt to Taste (at least one teaspoon)

Local Organic Honey to taste

DIRECTIONS: Mix all the powdered ingredients and the whole cashews together in a food processor. You can put the finished product in molds, roll them in to balls, or shape as desired.  Serve.

In Bali we will be using both Cacao and Raw Cashews from a company called Big Tree Farms.  They make a great product and are one of the few places that carry truly raw cashews.  Most cashews aren’t raw and are boiled out of their shell.  This can cause them to attract mold and it makes them more difficult to digest.  Raw cashews are better because they taste far better.  Additionally, they are easier on the belly and retain more nutrients.   The company itself maintains a high level of integrity as well.

Additionally, you can find many of these products for sale on Bright Earth Foods website. (Put your cursor over Bright Earth Foods for hyperlink)

Asana Practice: Tonight I will be enjoying my kula (or spiritual community). Please join us in spirit.

February 24: To music, or not to music (Vol I: Breath Control)

Doing yoga to music can be uplifting and fun, but it can also hide the sound of your breath.

A dear friend asked me to write about the affect of music on yoga. The first thing that came to mind was my recent quest to re-find my ujjayi pranayama breath while practicing ashtanga yoga.

Ujjayi breathing requires gently closing the back of the throad when you breathe in order to make the breath audible.  Successful ujjayi breathing sounds like ocean waves.

To do ujjayi allow the breath to fill the lower belly (activating the first and second chakras), then to lift the lower ribs (the third and fourth chakras), and finally breathe into the upper chest and throat.

The Hawaiian yoga teacher Wai Lana says Ujjayi Pranayama “tones the lungs and encourages the free and healthy flow of prana.”My experience with ujjayi is that it helps me go deeper in poses while protecting my body from injury.  The breath itself actually informs how to do asana with integrity.

When I first started doing yoga, I was at a studio that focused on the breath (in the form of ujjayi) as the primary goal of practice.  My breath was strong and robust and I could maintain ujjayi for the entire practice.  Something in the last year or two caused me to drop my healthy ujjayi.  My breath has become shallow and inconsistent.

Again, I find myself practicing in a traditional ashtanga class, and again I am instructed to focus on my breathing as the primary importance of practice.  Hearing the ocean current of the class, I realized just how shallow and weak my breath had become.  It quickly dawned on me that part of the reason my breathing has faded is because I have spent much of the last year doing yoga to music.

Music can be uplifting and enhance a yoga class, but it can also make it difficult to hear your breath.

I have a very high VO2 Max.  Basically, this means that I process oxygen well and I don’t need to breathe a lot in order to get enough oxygen to move my body.  I can run for hours and maintain a normal conversation without being short of breath.

In yoga, breathing serves many purposes, only one of which is to oxygenate the body.  As I mentioned, breathing informs a yoga practice by allowing the body to move in to deep poses with integrity.  If you are disconnected from your breath or only breathing shallowly, you may not notice that you are overextending yourself.  This is precisely what I was doing.  At the bottom of an exhale I could move far deeper in a pose than I could maintain in the inhale.

Having returned to deep ujjayi pranayama I am again doing poses with integrity and finding better alignment with a safer depth of practice.

So, what does this have to do with doing yoga to music?

Listening to your breath is the easiest way to monitor its health and consistency.  If you can’t hear your breath because of music, you may be doing yourself harm or removing a potent part of your practice.  If you have been practicing long enough and know that your breath is strong, by all means add in the inspiration of music.  Ideally, you would have the music volume low enough to be able to hear both your breath and the music.

Happy Yogaing!

Lesson Learned:  Before turning on the tunes, assure that your breath is strong and consistent.  Listening to the steadiness of ujjayi pranayama can help inform your practice.

 

February 23: How to Sequence a Yoga Class (Vol I: Timing)

I’m teaching my first class in Bali this evening, so I spent the morning sequencing a class.

Having put aside teaching for a few years and just getting back in to it, I’m more aware of the techniques that I naturally use to put a class together. I thought it would be useful for me to share these techniques with people who are new to teaching or have a private practice.

Asana Practice: I find inspiration for teaching while doing my personal practice.  The main different when you are teaching, is that a class must fit a set schedule and be easy for people to follow.

TEACHING TECHNIQUE: This morning I set a timer for 15 minute increments.  I then proceeded to practice with the goal of each 15 minute segment having a consistent theme.

The first 15 minutes was a warm up, setting patterns in the body, and allowing myself (and therefore, my students later when I teach) to enter the class.

The second 15 minutes was a series of modified sun salutations, moving in a controlled fashion.

The third 15 minutes were spent in a powerful solar movement including standing poses and a lot of flow.

The final 15 minutes were spent doing closing postures and savasana.

This technique is great for classes of any length because almost all classes are either: durations of 15 minute intervals naturally including savasana (e.g. 1 hour, 1.5 hours, etc), or are durations of 15 minute intervals plus a savasana (e.g. 50 minute class = 3, 45 minute intervals plus a 5 minute savasana).

Enjoy playing with this technique for organizing the timing of a yoga class

Lesson Learned: Sequence a class based on 15 minute intervals where each 15 minute interval has a set goal.

February 22: Don’t Resist the Bliss

I feel blessed when a magical energy takes over my body with a purpose all of its own.

Part of yoga is having an awareness around that which is.  When a moment like this arises, seize it, surrender to the rising tide and honor it by following it through to its close.

Asana Practice: The house was empty this morning and I had good music playing in the background.  I found a lovely spot on the top porch to practice. I cleared the chi by removing any empty cups or books, and straightened the chairs and table.

As I stepped on to my mat, a current took me over.  At first I started with my traditional warm up, only to realize my body wanted me to fly.

One of my favorite yoga poses is the “swan dive” transition from standing pose to standing forward fold.  I love experiencing grace as you consciously surrender.

My entire practice mimicked this transition.  There was effortless fluidity, a dance. I felt like a wave carried me from one pose to another. As I moved through several modified sun salutations I continued to focus on finding grace even in powerful poses.

As my rhythm slowed, I moved towards a series of controlled standing poses.  Specifically I worked on Warrior I and revolved triangle.  These are my two most challenging standing poses, and my hope was to bring the fluidity of the moment in to these poses.  I believe I succeeded.

From the place of grace, the human body is far more subtle and strong. Whenever you feel the body tensing, ask yourself how can you expand and release in the place of tension.  You will find even the intention to release has an effect on the physical form.  Sometimes “trying” can get in the way of being or doing.

Lesson Learned: The next time you find yourself in the natural flow, see if you can carry that easefulness and guidance in to every area of your practice. Regardless of whether you are called to move quickly or slowly, see if you can take the lesson of the flow in to every area of your practice.  This will allow you to bring a fresh perspective and new awareness to otherwise stagnant parts of your practice.

 

 

February 21: Raw Cacao, Raising the Activation Potential

Change your paradigm, chocolate is good for you. (If its made right.)

I’m living in a house full of raw food enthusiasts.  The first few days, my body screamed for more grounding foods.  When I finally introduced a cooked meal, I was shocked, I mourned for the natural high from eating raw.

It seems like every time I turn around there is a new type of raw chocolate being made in my new house.  They mold hard chocolates, put cacao powder in smoothies, they make pudding and drinks.  I’ve had more cacao in a week than I had in the preceding year and I FEEL AMAZING!

The easiest way to introduce healthy cacao in to your daily routine, is to add cacao powder to your smoothie.

Here is a company that I enjoy:

You can order it online at their website. I met their owner a year ago and their practices are top-notch.  He has a personal working relationship with all the farms he buys from and they remain organic using traditional farming techniques. (A pretty rare occurence these days).

Asana Practice: Nutrition can affect the way you feel when you practice.  The traditional thought is that you shouldn’t eat within two hours of practicing asana.

I have a fast metabolism and I often wake up hungry.  I also like to practice yoga first thing in the morning.  To fix the problem,  I like to make a small fruit smoothie with cacao.  I find this is the perfect energetic boost.

Lesson Learned: If you want to avoid a fully belly when practicing yoga, but you are hungry and need a small boost, consider making a cacao smoothie or eating a raw chocolate.

 

 

February 19: Light Headed, Try some Fruit

A fundamental part of yoga philosophy is experimentation and giving yourself the freedom to explore.  This does not suggest that you must adopt a thought pattern if it has proven to you its falseness, but remaining open is an important part of growth.

I am surrounded by a raw food community in Bali.  I am currently experimenting with how different nutritional modalities affect my consciousness, energy, mental clarity, and physical strength.

Asana Practice: I’ve been dizzy during my morning yoga session.  Its been suggested to me that my blood sugar might be low since I practice before I eat.

I prefer to go to bed on an empty stomach, but raw food doesn’t stick to my bones the way cooked food does.  While I’m eating mainly raw its vital that I have some calories when I wake up.  Fruit appears to be the best option.

Lesson Learned: If you are light-headed in yoga, consider that your blood sugar might be low and have something easy to digest within an hour and a half of practicing.

February 18: Full Moon Activation

My western mind finds difficulty in accepting the premise that cosmic shifts, such as the moon’s cycle, can have an objective effect on the human experience.

Yet despite my inherent doubt, time and time again, I’m left with the knowing that these forces can, and should, not be underestimated.

The moon is full tonight, my energy today was potent and magnetizing.

My reflection on the day is that moments of challenge and growth were magnetized.  I feel confident that the lessons of the day will find deep embodiment.

Asana Practice: I found it difficult to meditate today.  My mind was restless and my subtle body high with vibration.  I found myself called to do power yoga and calisthenics.

Lesson Learned: Stay attuned to the moon calendar.  Women ovulate, and the level and behavior of the vast oceans change, based on the force of the moon alone.  Consider that your energy may peak and wane based on the phase of the moon.  Learn your rhythms and plan your life accordingly.

If you are reading this during the early part of the day, set an intention to be aware.  When a moment of intensity, conflict, or surprise arises, recognize that it is a potent moment for growth.

If you find yourself reading this in the evening, reflect.  Did you learn something today that can change your life? Was there a missed lesson that you can take to heart now?

At the very least, take a chance to look at the moon.  Give thanks for its light, influence and beauty.  Call in that which will serve you, and offer blessings for all.

February 17: Actualize your Greatest Potential

How can we allow magic in to our lives?

I’m sitting here with a new friend who is dedicating his life to service.  He currently makes beautiful jewelry and volunteers at an alternative school in Bali.  (Check out his website.) A brief conversation made quick headway and I began to learn about his philosophy on life.

His hope is to be able to surround himself with people who are willing to create heaven on earth and transform the paradigm of creating their own hell (as well as hell for others).  This message is simply too important not to pass on and is the lesson I hope to embody permanently after my journey through Bali .

The mission is to experience the full potential of what life can be, and honor it for its exceptional display of constant magic.  To actualize this experience we will need a conscious choice about who we want to be. We are not victims of our own reality. Rather, we are creators of Self and our own Reality.

It is a personal decision to remain ignorant of this Truth, or alternatively to accept the responsibility and reward of living It.  To recognize the power of making decisions based on love and not based on fear we become liberated and reap the reward of this liberation.

Love is a natural resource that can be enjoyed in infinite ways and can never be consumed.

Asana Practice: Facilitate the flow of energy in its natural way.  Allow freedom in your practice and be guided by love.

What actions serve your greatest potential? Are you called to roll around, do you find true peace in a handstand? Should you practice on a mountain top, or lay in Savasana for an extra ten minutes?

Challenge yourself to live your greatest potential.  If you find yourself a victim to the harshness of the world around, or you are creating dis-ease for someone else, vow to immediately alter your experience and that of those around you by choosing love instead.

If you can see the truth in this message and not dismiss it as silly yoga-speak, you have the opportunity to transform your life.  Isn’t this why we all do yoga anyway?

Lesson Learned: You are your own creator, choose a destiny full of love and support and vow to remove the needless suffering from your life and from the life of those around you.

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